There is the attention you were looking for. Why couldn't the knife go back in the drawer? Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? and our Whats a foot long and slippery? Privacy Policy. A Master Baiter. Discover short videos related to did i ask jokes on TikTok. You planet. Check out these funny one-liners that will give you the biggest laughs from the fewest words. So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around, and don't forget to pass them on to your equally immature friends. the bear replies. A cheese factory exploded in France. But I'm clean now. 150 Funny Adult Jokes - Hilarious Humor for Adults in 2023 Find out here! What do you call a deaf gynecologist? On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? Da brie was everywhere. If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. Example of When did I ask? Lawyer Jokes That Are Criminally Hilarious | Reader's Digest Canada When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. Making it very clear that the question asker was being rude. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. A four-chin teller. Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. Walking takes too long. She gave me an Australian kiss. You said youd be home by 11:45!, Actually, the mathematician replies coolly, I said Id be home by a quarter of 12., Explanation: Divide 12 by four, or a quarter. Because they're always stuffed. Elementree school. A stick. Because the queen reigned there for decades. What did one hat say to the other? Cereal. I guess it's just not in the cards for me. Dont you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious? Did I Ask GIFs | Tenor Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Dont forget to browse these biology jokes that really cell themselves. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor more humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. I wonder how many people are in that field. What jokes similar to the "when did i ask joke"? - reddit What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? When did I ask? "Whaddya mean?" What did one say to the other? Explanation: Even on an island of one, religion can be a tricky issue. Why was six afraid of seven? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Don't care didn't ask extended - Copypasta Good Comebacks for Unwanted Opinions (Our Favorites) Person 2: Who's there? And do you love, well, jokes? Not being a retard. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? But hay, its in my jeans. Cookie Notice I think its time for us to go our separate ways and start making other people miserable. What did the left eye say to the right eye? In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that hes had the same dream, too. History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can't help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. What did the O say to the Q? You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. 34. Explanation: This ones full of nods to music: Chopin and Bach were composers, and a minuet is a type of dance (and the music that goes along with it). Bison. I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. What did one hat say to the other? So whether youre dealing with a hater or just somebody whos generally uninterested, here are 14+ clean comebacks for who cares and nobody cares., Read next: 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation. 100 Funny Why Jokes And Puns That Are Rib Tickling - Shake Jump! 50 funny, easy jokes for kids to learn and tell - Care.com Resources To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Sorry, I'm still working on it. Did you hear the one about the roof? 101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember | Reader's Digest The third guy ducks. Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. Well-armed. What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Because he's got little legs. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. How do you open a banana? Dont assume thats not a major incentive. Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now. What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? 13. Because you should never drink and derive. I hope Death is a woman. What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? Why do we like volcanoes? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. He worked it out with a pencil. With a little creativity and quick thinking, you can defuse the who asked bomb and keep the conversation going. What Is My Angel Number? What do you call a bear without any teeth? She drops her pants and says, My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!, A boy says to a girl, So, sex at my place? Yeah! Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks were making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Because every play has a cast. A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and cola.". That way it will never come for me. 9. Your opinion is very important to me. He's all right now. Just another reason to moan, really. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. Tap To Copy. A lip reader. What did the left eye say to the right eye? History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At - We Are Teachers How does an octopus go into battle? But, first, what do people mean by did I ask you?. Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? 17. Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? But hilarious jokes never go out of style. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. 3. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date? When When When When When When When. What does a pig put on dry skin? However, its not always rude. The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." A little horse. 2. A funny response can be to pretend to not understand the question. A limbo champ walks into a bar. What's black and white and goes round and round? To get to the other side. Best Dick Jokes Through History - Why Sexual Comedy About Men - Esquire But grammatically speaking, whom is the object of the verb to., If Ive told you n times, Ive told you n+1 times. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. Why do bees have sticky hair? Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Robin. A gummy bear. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. "You're looking sharp. Question and Answer Jokes - Jokes - Jilljuck 134 Likes, 20 Comments - Wellness Habits + Accountability partner (@cassiehuntwellness) on Instagram: "There's kind of a running joke in my family. What does it take to make an octopus laugh? He wanted his quarter back. Why didn't the melons get married? Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. Once you open it, you realize its half-empty. No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. "You look drunk.". Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . 20. The other guy replies, "You're, What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? 4. What do you call two witches who live together? 1. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. Beano Jokes Team. He forgot to wrap his Whopper. 3. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. 27. His wife asked me if I could say a quick word. There were two goldfish in a tank. Whos there? What is the opposite of a croissant? Why was the guitar teacher arrested? If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. The 55 funniest things to ask Alexa CNET - CNET What's E.T. This one is funny because it can be used to make the question asker seem like they are crazy or have a bad memory and already has forgotten that they did in fact ask you. You come across as a person who has low self-esteem and is embarrassed to ask anybody for anything, for the fear of being refused or rejected again and again, so I did it on my own and to stop you from becoming a spectacle. He only comes once a year. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if its one of the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), why did the chicken cross the road? jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news.". I didnt ask for your opinion either, so why respond. All day thought-provoking questions Funny coffee jokes, check out the funniest Reader s! Cookie Notice "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. Just ask a question: Why did?, What do you call? Next time someone asks you, who asked, or did I ask use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Later they get together. One was a-salted. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? (Its three.). Where do young trees go to learn? It loafs. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Not by a long shot. Think Im sarcastic? Its the people I tell them to who cant. Why don't male ants sink? If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. When did I ask. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Micro-waves. Explanation: The worlds population is split sort of evenly between men and women, making the average human part male, part female, and a complete pain to shop for. What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? 40. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. Confused by some of these clever jokes? Keep the tip. These Why Jokes (with Answers!) Will Always Get a Laugh - Distractify Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. Khanada Lakes on Twitter: "WhoCares WhenDid I ask WhyAre you The Best Dad Jokes 2023. Have fun with some of these. Joke has 83.83 % from 129 votes. What do you call balls on your chin? Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. Thats not to say the images on this page will make you any smarter, but they may offer you some material you can use in a variety of ways. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Would you like to dance? An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. Knock Knock! 9. Why did the pony have to gargle? 8. Me: *to the person I was talking to* Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. Did you fall from heaven? Knock Knock Whos there? Me! Robin you, now hand over the cash. The redhead says it looks like cum. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? []BMany people think of bully () as one child pushing or hitting Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. 2. What do you call a fake noodle? After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: This response is funny because it turns the situation around on the question asker. He's all right now. "Between you and me, something smells.". You guys didn't like it. No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. How is life like a penis? Question and Answer Jokes What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? 31 Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Actually Funny - FunnyWorm A golfer goes. Robin who? King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! Share the best GIFs now >>> These classic What did? Updated: 13 September 2022 First Published: 16 September 2019 Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. Whos there? "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? Explanation: By themselves, the musical notes C, E-flat, and G are simply tones, neither major nor minor. Copy it to easily share with friends. Sharing is caring! Best priest jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 75 Priest jokes A pork chop. Three guys go on a ski trip together. Some might even make your eyes roll. Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? I know because they told me. A submarine. Is it in?. Close the door, I'm dressing. 31 Jokes About Work That'll Make Even Your Boss Laugh - Distractify Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Your wife will always blow your bonus! He told me to stop going to those places. He ate the pizza before it was cool. Whos there? What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Someones always willing to blow your bonus. For example, Alexa can tell you Star Wars jokes, yo mama jokes and even some interesting trivia facts. Wellness Habits + Accountability partner on Instagram: "There's kind of Jokes for Kids 2022. Between you and me, something smells. 50. Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. Whats warm, wet, and pink? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? You planet. This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. If they ask, "Who asked?" The bartender asks, "Dry?". What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? 5. Sucka. Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Continue with Recommended Cookies, It has happened to all of us. I'm a helicopter! Click here to learn more! What did the left eye say to the right eye? 3. Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! Explanation: Bach was, of course, another famous composer, so Beethovens chickens were pecking away at his ego. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. I used to be addicted to soap. What do you call a pudgy psychic? The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" Im taking this shit to a whole new level. I dont think so. Where does the general keep his armies? Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. What did the banana say to the vibrator? You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Your Mom. 28. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. According to Mason, expose them to as much as possible and that includes jokes. They have many fans. Because, as mentioned above, the question implies that the question asker does not care about what the person they asked it to has to say. 39. Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Did your parents ask for you? This response works because it responds to the rude question with a level of innocence that fully brings attention to how rude the question asker was being towards you. 2. No, but I could tell you needed my help. When they get to the ski lodge there arent enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? 319 Clean Jokes For Kids (Plus Random Joke Button!) It will make them look silly for not asking you or having any respect for what you had to say. Laughter is infectious. What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? About. Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. 7. See ya! just ask them why they are so insecure about things. Jokes to Test Your Brain! 46. 200 Best Reader's Digest Jokes of All Time They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? They both have an ability to misfire. 24. The other cow says, "Why would I care? Whos there? What did one ocean say to the other ocean? What did 345. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument, 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation, 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!