funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

You can begin with, "I hope this email finds you well," which has the same meaning as "Hope you are doing well". I think part of it, too, is that I have mental health issues and physical issues so sometimes the questions make me feel pressured to have a good weekend. Examples include: Good, nice sunny day out there. I actually liked her kid, and if shed just said she needed a sitter instead of tricking me into it, I wouldnt have minded babysitting.I ended up filling that child with sugar and caffeinated soda (he had a grand time), and forever answering Im so busy, ugh to all future questions about my plans. Explain yourself; dont make me drag it out of you. With strangers (e.g., cashiers) and other people you dont know personally well (casual acquaintances, colleagues with whom you are not also friends, etc. You get to notice pretty fast that your opinions, feelings and thoughts dont matter if they dont conform to a view of the world that doesnt let them look like heroes and you like a cultural clich. I am on the spectrum, so I would anxiety-spiral about whether, once again, I missed a basic social skill everyone else learned in kindergarten. If you already made someone admit that they do not have Serious Plans, of course at this point saying no to your invitation is going to be so much more difficult, because its going to be rude! Yak shaving is a programming term, although Ive also seen it in other contexts. Tell me about you. Youve made such a long-term investment in your child already why put the future relationship at such risk? And then I would walk away thinking that was a really awkward conversation and wonder if that person didnt like me or was fishing for an invitation to something or what. Weekend gone! Then Ill say Whats up? or Whats going on then? or What did you have in mind?. I have not observed him asking this many questions to other bank customers, not that I hang out in there much, and maybe they give him more satisfactory/interesting answers). Copyright 2011 thru 2023 Jennifer Peepas, all rights reserved. My friends do it alllll the time. Note that LW says when it comes to friend-peer interactions, its fine, other than reminding LW of the more problematic interactions. You have attached a new question to an old thread. This will hopefully lead to the two of you sharing what your plans are and possibly hanging out. Maybe actually I am just dealing with one of those people who force you to be blunt. I use the phrase same old stuff! In this situation. Vulgarity from a total stranger is an instant turnoff. Another good script Ive heard for when the person is clearly trying to invite you to something is What did you have in mind?, If theyre small-talking, you can say something like Hopefully relaxing and destressing. THIS. I completely agree that when it comes to a duty (like babysitting) this question is somewhat unfair. Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. because sometimes we have plans that cant change. Giving my notebook a bath. But most native speakers will still answer with the single word "Good.". Yes, exactly. The people asking the question are rude and betraying their bigotry. Yeah, my parents did that too. Its not extreme when your life has several of those sharks who ask that just to trap you. The first time I posted a little comment showed up saying that my comment was pending mod review since it was my first comment but I dont see one of those now. Would it be possible for you in [date]. or are you busy?). Even when its not meant as a hostile act (merely as an exoticising one thats so cool/I used to want to travel there/is it true that people there do x) being othered never feels welcoming. (Right Now): What are you doing sometimes means at the very present in which activity are you involved in? Answer vaguely. It took some practice, but I always try to give an out for people, especially since I have a group of Japanese friends where theyre used to giving a soft no. It gives the impression that Id rather do nothing than spend time with you or help you with something (which may very well be true, but is often not a conversation worth having). But why would you feel entitled to her time to help with party favors for a party youre throwing? That said, you do have to be ok with saying no. It always makes me a little uncomfortable, because Im not used to grocery store cashiers asking me how I am. I still have the same question of why do this? I dont want to give you a rundown of my plans. I have a couple of friends/acquaintances(sp? Sometimes, it's good to be a little silly and fun! If they mean well then they will try to stop when you explain that you prefer to be asked directly. Culture or not, Im very sympathetic to people who have a hard time saying no, since that used to be me. Also, again in the UK, if the person is literally asking, the emphasis will be strongly on are. And if its clearly just conversation, (and you want to participate further) offer up something else, 8. Why? Let the customer know you empathize with them and use their name to personalize your communications. Sadly its never QUITE a lie, hahaha. So nowadays Ill say something like Im probably going to do [X], but thats not urgent if you want to hang out instead! or I need to do [X] but I have time for a quick dinner if youre interested. (People who are not the boything get oh, Ive got laundry because theres almost nobody else Im willing to make same-day plans with. E- Engage in the fun. "Spend some time this weekend on home improvement. When she asks me what Im doing on a particular day, I just say Im not sure or I need to check my calendar until she tells me what she wants. I wish that just once I had the wherewithal to respond to a manipulative invitation like LW describes with the classic Phoebe Buffet line: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.. *Both of which are also used as shorthand for all the things you need to get done before you can do the thing you actually intend to do, which is often an accurate description of my evenings. Ive got some stuff to do around the house, etc. This is another good and funny response to give to "whats up" because depending on who you say it to, they might find it to be relatable enough to laugh at. LW specifically gave examples of when it happens and why it annoys them, yet dozens of people are trying to splain that this is just small talk in their part of the world. This relationship goes both ways. Yes, people use this question for all kinds of reasons, as LW said. I think this is a lot clearer in other contexts. Acquaintances or co-workers get a vague answer, like, {5 words to say Im in/out of town or am/arent super booked}, then, What are you up to? because its really just small talk. There is no need to think about what they're up to or why they sent you the . Why? We went swimming in the lake and had a little bonfire." This is a good response to use when your weekend with family was more on the slow-paced side but was nonetheless enjoyable. 1. I live in a face culture, so saving the face of the invitee who wants to turn your invitation down is very important. If its someone from work that I have no personal relationship with, then Any plans this weekend? just sounds like office small talk, the forward-looking version of How was your weekend? If its someone I know personally, then Are you doing anything tomorrow? sounds like a way to try to trick me into agreeing to do something not-fun (because if it was fun, theyd ask outright). However, it is true that "hanging out" is not what a person often thinks of as "OMG awesome must be there!" It generally meant that they had read somewhere on some really stupid website that you should try to get the girl you want to talk about herself, because girls like to talk about themselves. @TootsNYC If you want your daughter to do her share of chores, it is a better idea not to tell her to take the trash out (now or in the next couple of hours) but rather have a family meeting at the beginning of the week, talk about what needs to be done (not only stuff that you consider important but also stuff that your daughter considers important) and then you talk about who does what. But the female-seeming among us get hit with that kind of weirdly-broken thinking by our families and others endlessly in American and other western cultures. Answer accordingly. Its mostly me trying to figure out a friends general level of free time and not impose if theyre busy or dealing with a crisis. But I dont want to? Lead with the actual invitation. They also influence how OFTEN. You know, I just had a *very* amusing misunderstanding with a facebook friend who was ranting about MLM (which I thought was the wlw type of MLM). So if someone said What are you doing next Thursday? I imagine they said Would you like to do something on Thursday? Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. This applies in other areas of life too. Have a Happy . "Hi" or "Hello". Good, I just saw the cutest squirrel.. Also, the teachers here will not do your homework for you. Lets get together. But you have never issued a direct invitation to me in your life. Then you can do x with/for me! just blatantly assuming that if you are free, then you will obviously want to do this thing. It doesnt mean Im not an interesting person or my life is less meaningful if Im selective about who I share the details of my life with. If you have a new question, start a new topic. Young women and girls are not stupid. not? What are you up to this weekend? sounds like small talk, though it obviously depends if the asker is a known power-player. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. I clean up nice, don't I. Alternatively were just going to have to start getting out of bed earlier so we dont run into them, but I suspect that if she realised we were doing that she might actually change her own schedule. Riding an elephant. what about this would a person take personally???? Is this just aimless small-talk? Im asking because you absolutely will pay for it in terms of impacts on the long-term relationship with the person she will become. The same is true for both indirect hinty inquiries like doing anything on the weekend? and direct invites like Are you available for X chore/ Y funthing Saturday between 2 and 5? Or noncommittal responses like dunno, maybe or definite responses like I will make time for a few specific fun things within specific timeframe, otherwise I am unavailable. None of these is universally rude; any/all can be considered presumptuous, pushy, passive, or otherwise inappropriate to specific circumstances or relationships (and fine/desirable for others), and any/all may result in added difficulty/danger if they are spoken to a person who has the ability to cause problems if displeased, and are not what that person wants to hear. What are you doing this weekend? For grocery store cashiers, I keep the answer short: Wet, on a rainy day, or Need more coffee this one particularly for coffee shop baristas, who probably hear it too often. After decades of various sorts of problem behavior from my father, I literally hit a brick wall of having had enough, and weve been done ever since. It feels invasive what I do on my weekends is my business. Can I get back to you later? In truth that is an honest answer, my schedule would fall like a house of cards without my calendar and unless it is an emergency I truly have to check it. I am eating. Although you risk hearing all about the questioners plans. If they want to tell you about their job, they can. If you want! The fact that LW is this bugged about it shows theres a problem and the parent is being manipulative. If I catch myself, before they respond lll clarify what my actual invitation is. This will not go away. In my case this is always 100% true because unless I literally have my calendar open in front of me I do not know what I am doing at literally any time on any day. These guys then hope the girl will then respond with relating a fun anecdote, to which the guy will respond by asking a question or two to keep her talking, and then hell think, Great! It can be a white lie! Being one half of a couple is also very handy in this respect. Me: .No. If she wants to NOT have some other grownup setting a price on her activities occasionally, she can get a job and move out, and then I wont be saying, a couple of times a month, if youre home tonight, I need you for X.. Any fun plans? FRIEND: I am available [date]! There were several problems that led to the death of that relationship, but communication (on both sides) was for sure one of them. (via Shutterstock) 7. This week is bad for me, but next week Im free except Tuesday. See also, sometimes when someone is rude or difficult, I will pretend they said something nice or appropriate and respond with a total non-sequitur. For that matter, even confident people can fall into the What are you doing Thursday? trap when theyre trying to sound unassertive. If you have plans, just say so. LWs parent. Thats already happenedshe made a big stink about her dad telling her that they were all going to do something to support me at a time when I was really upset (something that would have taken about an hour of her time). If it makes you feel better, I did not compare you to my father. Its a little involved because Mittens needs daily collagen injections and also shes doing primal scream therapy. When I have no plans I tend to respond with some variant of Just chilling, and then if the person offers something that I want to do, I can decide its more fun than chilling, but if I dont want to do it, then its been a long week and I just really need that chill time, you know? Most people would rather talk about themselves than anyone else, so turning the question back to them will almost always divert them from further questions about what Im doing. I too have found that nobody seems offended if I respond with a cheerful: Why? Without answering their question at all. WHAT WILL YOU DO AT THE WEEKEND?? 3. Them (if it was small talk) *moves on to a different topic* My answer to this question is almost invariably Not sure yet, why? or Havent quite decided, how about you?, This might elicit a Well I was just wondering if youd like to to which I will respond, That sounds better than what I was planning, count me in or Hmm, thanks for thinking of me but I dont think Ill be able to this time. More and more, Ive been owning that I dont ever have to say yes. My go-to refusal of any invitation is I have other plans, and nobody needs to know whether my other plans are a work thing I cant get out of or a fun evening out or painting my toenails in front of Netflix. If a coworker does this several times in a row, I sense they dont want to connect with me on that level and stop asking. Ive been known to do that to friends, since Im one of those people who freaks out when I hit the wrong key and the computer does something unexpected. If partying and watching Netflix is the only thing you dream of doing, don't pretend that you spend your days filling out job applications. This way, you are always busy when those people ask. I've Tried, but No One Listens Hopefully Not as Good as I'll Ever Be If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me Okay. [I often go in around lunch time.] I loathe this question, and Ive been getting it a lot lately. So the onus is on you, when talking to a new person, to communicate that youre just interested in exchanging chitchat about what everybody did/will do over the weekend. I have myself been asked that question when relatives have been looking for a babysitter so that is why it especially resonated with me. With friends, I might have the motive of finding time to hang, but often its just to find something to talk about. If I had a tail, I would wag it! You are doing things and going places. But if I dont, I have that empathy worry, like what if they only said yes because they felt like they couldnt say no? If I say why and she responds with something easily done another time or only sort of appealing, Ill judge it against a nice evening of doing nothing and maybe pass. k. Yes, I think theres a fairly clear difference between people who ask as small talk (for example, when youre both waiting for the microwave in the staffroom, or waiting at the bus stop after work) and when its done how LW specifies. She does recognize that its a way people make small talk and that its not likely to go away any time soon. It is perfectly ok to want some calm alone time or time with a cat watching Winter Olympics (that is actually great, our cats especially seem to love skiing) and no-one else really needs to know. And we do have fun and hang out occasionally. Him: Nothing fun? It doesnt matter if those plans are eating candy while watching Netflix with no pants on, they technically are plans. [Reposting because it looks like my first comment was eaten.]. And its hard to argue with. 1. I know people who mean well dont like hearing this, but I think that its important for people who mean well to also consider how the people they interact with might feel, so I consider this type of information to be useful to anyone who truly wants others to feel welcomed and comfortable. They dont ask if you want to do the thing and then you are able to tell them (and if you were busy, youd probably mention that when declining). Your feelings are your own and it sounds like What are you doing this weekend? has reached a point where hearing the question adds a ton of negativity to the interaction for you, which might be where this response is coming from? Am I Really? If I get hungry enough, Ill consider eating them. On the other hand, that was a while ago. "It's happening.". why do you ask? when Im texting or emailing. Oh, the usual, you? How are you? as much as it is practicing not giving into pressure to give an explanation of your schedule OR an immediate answer. Silly Friend: what are you doing this weekend? If you're worried your co-workers or boss will assume you need more to do if you don't talk about your heavy workload, go for this response. The conversation can go like this either way and be appropriate and you not be on the spot either way. 96 views, 2 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 2 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from J.Cano: Law & Order: SVU - Best Episode Id be open to a one-on-one hangout but just out of energy for any group thing, if thats why youre asking laundryall the laundry. I was usually planning board game evenings and role playing games and I only tried to ask people whom I knew to be interested in what I was planning. Me: Not much, maybe laundry or whatever. Hello, theres a related phenomenon of *cashiers who dont know you* asking the question. Im white and an immigrant in the country where I live. So in the next day or two, perhaps on some morning when you leave your house and shes there waiting for you, you tell her, firmly but cheerily with giant beaming smiles that the morning walks will be separate from now on because those are for you to have conversation with your children. How are you? You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course, and definitely use the Captains scripts and bat the ball back across the net with I dont know, how about you? But I wonder if it would help to make these interactions less frustrating for you if you tried not to think of them as someone trying to get something from you that you dont want to give. Vagueing it up works for me. Ive heard its a very Southern California thing and that people from other places are annoyed by it. If you are an academic assigning my posts in your courses, Id appreciate an email with a copy of the relevant syllabus/assignment for my records/CV. We can debate all day whether that should be true, but it is. I think the idea is that someone who thinks no is hard will get the direct request and start cancelling plans, because no one would actually directly ask for babysitting unless this was the most important event of their lives. I have learned over my decade plus of retail experience that the key to small talk that doesnt annoy people is to feel out what they seem excited to talk about. Those non-negotiable things come up probably twice a month, at most. Should I keep doing what Im doing? Sometimes I go with something like, Im already committed to a couple of things, but they still have to get back to me about when, exactly, theyre happening. Funnily enough, my co-workers are also doing laundry. I find myself physically unable of disturbing her. I make a special point to not do that, not even if the thing Im asking for help with is sort of non-negotiable. I dont know. Nobody listens anyway. I might even be more direct My kids and I need the walk to school for ourselves. To the point she gets fallout for being unhelpful if she doesnt do it? When you joined a new job and your team leader or boss asked you about how you're doing, this is your honest answer and a way to show your enthusiasm. If they really are trying to manipulate you then Im afraid having just the right words wont fix it you will probably have to say no directly when they finally get to their request. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Why, whatve you got? with a tone implying that weekends are always full of important adulting chores that I really dont want to do, but adults gotta adult, you know? It feels like they expect me to put in the majority of the effort, and it would be nice if once in a while instead of saying I dont see you enough they would say Would you be up for meeting up at the coffee shop on my town on Saturday if [their issues] allow? But its not something thats going to change, so I smile and nod at their noises and continue to plan things with them at exactly the rate I feel like doing so (including making extra effort if theyre going through a really tough thing). I read that post all the time. All of these. The Captains advice is great. Indoor Cat says feeling unsafe would have been the most damaging to her relationships with her parents long term. Youll all be healthier and live longer if they learn some manners in how they treat you. I was surprised what a relief it was to move to a completely different part of the country where I at least have the option of blending in. If one of us is dropping the ball about getting back to you, say so. Not blond but like superwhite. ***I realize some people do not have strong preferences about things I have read the CA letters about this very subject and sometime it is okay to say you dont have a preference, but it never hurts to actually engage in the decision making process instead of just dumping it all on another person. I think it goes back to the same annoyng assumption there are people who assume your time is theirs. It gets exhausting dealing with Got any plans this weekend? starting on Wednesday and then What did you do this weekend? again on Monday. I just wanted to add that in my experience as a POC in a white majority country its mostly been well-meaning people who have made me feel discriminated against. I also see are you free Saturday? or What are you doing tonight? as potential traps and in part its because in college the manager of the dining hall I worked at would call, start with What are you doing tonight? and then argue that whatever I said was less important than covering a shift for someone. Giving my turtle a haircut. They are asking whether you want to go on a date with them on Thursday. I will have to remember, the next time I must declare myself to a new prospective partner, to offer up the alternative plan of talking about dinosaurs for the next ten minutes and then never bringing it up again. Which is why weve all learned to use our words, though it takes some learning and there are still occasional misunderstandings. You?, Or ask when do you need an answer by as invitors do need to know for catering, planning and booking purposes. Im well aware of that risk. A lot of the people old enough to have adult children at this point still put phone communication on some kind of pinnacle in their minds, because thats what they grew up with. What are you doing? A short, simple reply can be all it takes for you to let them know you appreciate their comment. 1. I love that you are into mountain biking! morning (and then bending my ear the whole way up the road, when if we were alone Id be chatting to my kids, and we quite like that) to the point where the doorbell would go and my kids would be saying oh god no, not them again! and Im shushing them, but feel exactly the same way. a coworker you dont hang out with outside of work asking this question on a Friday) and as a pre-request/invitation. I have friends who do that, along with a SIL, and I also find it stressful/annoying. I thought why do you ask? meant you are being nosy. a s h l e y. Right now? I hate this question too because likeI dont always pick up on it! One morning when we were together he asked, So what are your plans for tonight? I said, Oh I dont know. During [business_hours] that's usually within a couple of hours. Next week, tell me how it went? And then make myself a note to specifically ask about it. They see how often constantly males can throw a tantrum about how theyre being bitches, where the males only complaint is, I asked her questions, and she refused to answer! That alone is enough for him to feel justified in escalating the threats, anger, violence. I like to use Oh, you know, just some of the usual weekend stuff. Especially since they explicitly mention friends, relatives, and people on dating sites. sewer backup in apartment building, pims hospital islamabad opd timings, kaiser permanente assistant director salary,